So I seem to be getting larger every year. As a kid you were expected to "grow" as you aged, however I am pretty sure I am a fully grown adult. Unfortunately, I am still growing, and it is in the wrong direction. See, I would love to get taller each year, just until I can try on a pair of pants and not wonder if they are worth the cost of alterations. I use to cut my jeans off to make them fit, but Jason cringes at that thought, and though I have long grown out of that phase, he still says "you are not going to cut them". Whatever.
I am growing wider. Really, I embarrass myself with the size I have become, and often want to hole myself up in the house. I want to lose weight, and it is a resolution that I not only make every New Year and every birthday, but also every month, week and day ... until it is time to act! Once push comes to shove and the choice between a low fat or calorie laden meal comes I forget that I am fat and order what sounds like it will taste the best. I enjoy the meal to its fullest not remembering that I am fat, and as soon as the meal is done, I remember that I am fat again. I am pretty sure this is how bulimia starts.
And so we begin Operation: Stacey. Wish me luck!
3 comments:
Some days I think we should just give up, enjoy life, & not worry about our damn waistlines. Then again, maybe we'd end up one of those on TV who end up weighing 400 pounds. I know how you feel about the not wanting to be seen. I hate being seen in my state, pregnant or not, it's not cute. I had to delete the pics you tagged of me on facebook. Good luck w/Operation Stacey though. I will be pulling for you.
I knew you were always bulimic! Anyway, your crazy. My advice is just go to the gym consistently for two weeks. Two weeks to create a habit, two weeks to break a habit.
I still eat a lot of shit (i.e., pizza, Cheetos, small children, etc) but go the gym almost every day. I can email you my gym regiment and one day sell it.
Write it down. That is what works for me. I carry my stupid food log every where with me. If I know that I'm going to have to write down that I ate 700 calories on one burger I'm less tempted. I also have a plan before I go out. I look up online where we're going and I pick something that I know will be lower calorie. I also allow myself to splurge once in a while knowing that I'll have to do extra credit at the gym. When you have to do an extra hour on the elliptical to pay for the candy bar it isn't so tempting. Good luck! I love you!
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